Magic crystals.
My mouth hung ajar as I slowly looked to my wife. She turned to me dumbfounded as she held the crystals in one hand and wrapping paper in the other. The contrast was comical, albeit troubling. Once overflowing with innocent images of the Nativity scene and baby Jesus, wrapping paper was torn away to reveal a dangerous New Age gateway.
We turned back to our family friend. His earnest smile assured us of his sincerity. “To help get rid of any negative energy!”
“Well…You didn’t have to do that,” my wife hesitantly responded.
“Bah! Merry Christmas!”
“No, no. You really didn’t have to,” I insisted, pushing my wife’s arm forward to give back the gift. “We don’t need this.”
“Oh…Well…I got them for you guys…” His smile slowly melted as he sauntered off with my brother-in-law.
“You ‘don’t need this?’ Really? That was so incredibly rude,” my wife’s older sister chimed before strutting off.
My wife held up the crystals to me and whispered, “What do we do?”
I knew just what to do. “Follow me.”
I took the crystals from my wife and headed to my father-in-law’s workstation in the garage. My wife’s younger sister followed behind. She had recently expressed interest in Catholicism and was curious why my wife and I were acting so strange about something seemingly so small.
I thought this could be a good evangelizing moment, so I pulled up the “Disposing of Cursed Objects Prayer” on my phone. As part of the prayer, I needed to break the object, so I grabbed a hammer, threw the crystals in a garbage bag, and smashed them.
As the clink of the hammer smashed against the cement garage floor, my sister-in-law watched, half-amused, half-shocked. “You’re smashing ____’s gift?”
“I know that looks bad…but yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing.” I continued smashing away. Clink. Clink.
“That’s so rude, guys. He gave all of us crystals, so are you saying I need to break mine too?”
“I know that seems harsh…but yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Clink. Clink. Clink.
“Catholics are so weird. You guys need to chill out,” my sister-in-law said, exasperated, before walking back inside.
I turned to my wife, clutching my hammer. Her shoulders dropped, and she rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Tanner? There goes any shot we had with her.”
It felt like a lose-lose situation. I didn’t want to be rude, but I knew we couldn’t keep anything spiritually threatening in the house. I wanted to stand by the Truth, but I also knew that I might look like a nutcase for doing so.
In talking to a spiritual father after the fact, my wife and I did do the right thing in disposing of the gift, but we could have been more charitable toward our guests. It was also probably not the most prudent thing in the world to throw my non-Catholic sister-in-law into the deep end of spiritual warfare.
Christmas with the family always seems to have a special knack for putting me in complex situations that make me feel like I have nowhere to turn, and I know I’m not alone there.
For those like me whose family members aren’t Catholic (or are no longer practicing), you may find yourself in a sticky situation or two this holiday season. You also likely desire to evangelize those family members who haven’t encountered the source of joy that they’re celebrating.
Here are just a few tips from a guy who has learned things the hard way:
Bear any insults patiently and with grace.
Catholicism is increasingly strange to our culture as we move deeper into this apostolic age.
Your family members, like mine, might think you’re a looney for what you believe and do. They’ll likely throw a few jabs with their words or ask a few pointed questions. You can stand apart by how you handle those moments.
Receive their blows with gentleness. Answer their questions with patience and confidence. Try your darndest to avoid any backlash.
You have Truth on your side, so avoid falling into defense mode. No one wants to be preached to, but everyone wants to be conversed with. Take it from someone who has earned the nickname “Cardinal Tanner” with his family. There’s a big difference there. If you can do this, I can guarantee the wheels will begin turning for them.
Also, those family members whose questions come across as harsh or belittling are often just testing the waters. Deep down, a part of them is genuinely curious, but their interest can frequently come out through harsh skepticism. If you have an answer to one of their questions, speak it calmly and confidently, then move on. If you don’t have an answer, it’s okay to say you don’t know, but you’ll find out. You’re playing the long game, so trust you’re planting seeds.
Be quietly bold.
Fully embrace your faith during this Christmas season.
Carve out time to attend Daily Mass, go to the chapel and pray. Prioritize Confession before Christmas Eve.
Don’t announce that you’re going to do these things, but if people ask where you’re going or where you’re coming from, casually tell them. Depending on the openness of certain family members, invite them to join. A simple “Wanna go with?” goes a long way. If they refuse, don’t take it personally. “No? Cool! Maybe tomorrow!”
Sometimes, we want to evangelize our family just so we can be proven right, not because we actually want them to taste the abundance of life that Jesus offers. Show your family that you desire that abundance. Every day. Even if you’re silent about it, they’ll wonder why you live differently.
Be Joyful.
The most wonderful time of the year is often anything but wonderful. So be joyful! Be what this season — and our faith in general — claims to promise.
Pope Francis once famously said, “The identification card of a Christian is joy.” During this time of the year, a truly joyful presence will be the greatest gift you can give your family.
There’s no beating around the bush: your family has seen you at your worst. They know all your faults inside and out. It can be tempting to slide into old patterns of behavior when you’re around them. Make a concerted effort to show them that Christ has genuinely transformed you.
Let them see that it’s possible for a heart to be revived and to change. Give them hope that healing is possible. Be an example that our faith is real and that Jesus isn’t just another Santa Claus. Be joyful.
On a final note, my wife’s younger sister became Catholic just a few months after “Crystalgate.” She ended up removing any crystals, New Age books, etc., from her life. The point is this: Even when you feel like you royally botched it with evangelizing your family, the Lord can still work, so be free.
Merry Christmas, y’all.
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