Marisol gives life-affirming care to mothers, meeting not only physical but also emotional and mental health needs.
By Allison Auth
Lara O’Shaughnessy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and a mother of four who has spent the last eight years helping women through individual therapy, child/parent psychotherapy and as a family group specialist at Marisol Homes, a ministry of Catholic Charities of Denver.
Most of the women O’Shaughnessy sees at Marisol Homes are single moms who come from abusive relationships or traumatic childhoods and are part of an abortion-vulnerable demographic. Through her tireless work, O’Shaughnessy helps these women find meaning in their motherhood and sets them up with tools for success.
Unique in its class, Marisol Homes is more than a “crisis pregnancy” center. Their mission of “life-affirming care” ensures that women and children are cared for from pregnancy through childhood by partnering with Marisol Health, Marisol Family, and several other ministries of Catholic Charities of Denver. In this way, Marisol continues to serve as a beacon of pro-life support for mothers in need–from early childhood education to psychotherapy, shelter and more. Thanks to their devoted service, countless new moms receive continued support beyond pregnancy and birth in the postpartum period when they need it most.
In Marisol Homes, vulnerable women can stay as long as they need and receive training and support to find stable jobs, childcare and permanent housing. Marisol Health partners with Bella Health and Wellness in Englewood to meet medical and OBGYN needs. Marisol Family provides material support to moms and families, such as diapers, wipes, formula, clothing and more, to families in need throughout the Front Range.
Yet what O’Shaughnessy loves most about her job is her interactions with mothers and their children. Usually beginning during pregnancy, O’Shaughnessy checks in regularly through counseling and support groups, walking with women to help meet their emotional and mental health needs, even as hormones are changing and preparations to bring a new life into the world are underway. Given that one in five women experience postpartum depression or anxiety and that these perinatal mood disorders can begin during pregnancy and last up to two years after birth, it is vital that women get continuous care and support.
In addition, many of the mother’s childhood wounds, memories and traumas can be stirred up with the birth of their child, O’Shaughnessy shared: “As parents, you get a better perspective of how hard life is.” A lot of the women who visit Marisol experience the grief and loss of a loving, supportive upbringing while processing their own childhood. Forgiving themselves and their caregivers is an important step in moving forward and breaking the cycle of abuse or neglect that they grew up in.
This is why Lara’s behavioral therapy sessions with mothers and children are so important. Most of her work aims to set the infrastructure for how mom and child will build relationships later in life, ensuring both can feel safe.
“If they don’t feel worthy of love, that is detrimental as they grow and form into their own person,” O’Shaughnessy explained. From there, she teaches mothers how to repair rupture. “If you lose it on your kids and scream at them, for example, what do you do next? Do you run into your room and zone out on your phone? Or do you ask for forgiveness and repair that relationship? It’s all about what you do after the rupture.”
In small and large ways, much of the real, life-changing work happens in support groups, in which mothers get together to share struggles, wisdom and advice. With so many needs in postpartum time–lack of sleep, changing hormones, feeding and sleeping issues–women can receive the support they need when they lean into the group and find encouragement and positivity instead of embarrassment.
“The beauty of a support group is you can bring your shared experience—moms talking to moms. No mom is perfect, but you bring your life experience, and older moms help younger moms,” O’Shaughnessy shared.
Different from other groups, Marisol’s support groups give moms the chance to come together, have real conversations and get to the heart of things. In this way, the Marisol community becomes a salve for the isolation of the world.
“As soon as someone is vulnerable, we’re winning. As soon as someone offers up that vulnerability, it’s transformative for that group and gives the other women permission to be vulnerable,” O’Shaughnessy commented of the moms’ community.
Support groups offer a chance for real, meaningful, in-person friendships. Through them, women learn what works for them in terms of self-care, so they can fill their own cup to be able to fill their child’s cup, and then share those strategies with the group. They also come to understand their window of tolerance–the amount of sleep, nutrition and stimulation needed to feel calm, rested and engaged. They can strategize together ways to meet their needs, like breath work, visualization exercises or even chamomile tea or magnesium.
“If you are feeling isolated, if you feel you don’t have a support network as a new mom or young mom, if you feel like you are doing it alone, there are resources that you can reach out to,” O’Shaughnessy concluded, offering one last piece of advice for moms. “If you are having trouble bonding or have prolonged, persistent doubts about your motherhood, then reach out for help. Even talking with your OBGYN or a friend, just reach out! Otherwise, it’s a hamster wheel loop of feeling trapped that you can’t get out of.”
Marisol Services, ministries of Catholic Charities of Denver, are here to help. For more information on the services they offer and to get help, visit https://ccdenver.org/get-help/.
Marisol is always happy to receive your support–whether financial, material (supplies) or volunteer time. The most pressing needs include Saturday volunteers (Marisol Health), child-care volunteers (Marisol Homes) and diapers, clothing and baby gear (Marisol Family). For more information on how to get involved, visit https://ccdenver.org/volunteer/.
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