Let’s talk about love.
Specifically, let’s talk about love as St. John Paul II understood it in his brilliant Theology of the Body (TOB), which we started discussing last time. As you may recall, we went back to the book of Genesis to explore the creation of man in order to understand ourselves and our relationship with God better. I also introduced a line from the Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes: “Man, being the only creature created for his own sake, finds himself only in a sincere gift of himself” (GS 24).
Last time, we unpacked that first part, “created for his own sake.” God didn’t need Adam. He created him simply because he wanted him to exist, and he wanted good things for him. The same goes for you. God doesn’t “need” you. But he is madly in love with you, for your own sake. You have immense value and immense dignity in his eyes.
So now let’s look at that second part, “finds himself only in a sincere gift of himself.”
The Genesis account says that Adam was given the task of naming all the animals, which is the author’s way of saying that Adam had authority and dominion over all of creation. Adam, in other words, had significant real estate holdings.
Adam was really, really rich.
And then God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Why not? Adam had power, wealth and control. But he wasn’t created to find fulfillment in power, wealth or control. He was created for relationship. He was created in the image and likeness of God to only find true fulfillment in doing what God does, which is to give himself in love.
And remember, Adam is us. The message here is that we don’t find true fulfillment in wealth, power or control. That is definitely true of me. I keep forgetting, of course. I think “this much money or this achievement didn’t fulfill me the way I thought it would. But the next one will. Won’t it?”
But it doesn’t. Because, like Adam, I am created for love.
What Adam sought — another human person — did not exist anywhere in creation. That person had to come from God – “I will create a helper fit for him.” And he placed Adam in a deep sleep, removed one of his ribs, and out of it fashioned Eve. Eve is a gift from God to Adam, as Adam is a gift of God to Eve, and the people in our lives are gifts from God.
Let’s quickly digress to remember that Genesis is a book of theological myth. The truths it imparts are theological, not historical. It is a divinely inspired story exploring our creation as male and female and our relationship with God. It is not a book of history. So, it’s okay to look past the literal idea of God ripping a rib out of Adam.
But there is important symbolism in that “rib.” This was finally one like him, another made in the image and likeness of God. She is made of the same “stuff” he is made of. They are equal in dignity. We see it in Adam’s joy-filled exclamation when he first beheld Eve: “This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.”
This was someone he could truly love.
It is important to note that Adam sees Eve the way God sees Eve, as good for her own sake. He isn’t saying, “Finally, somebody who can help clean up around here.” He says, “She is created by God, and she is precious to him. She is to be loved and treasured and protected.”
Fortunately for him, Eve saw him in the same way.
Notice that Gaudium et Spes doesn’t say “finds himself in being nice” or “finds himself in warm fuzzy feelings.” It says we find ourselves in a sincere gift of ourselves. This is the love that Gaudium et Spes, and the entire Christian life, is calling us to — to see every human person as loved by God, as created for their own sake, as possessing dignity. And to act like it. To look out for what is best for them. To make our lives a sincere gift to them, always. To sacrifice for them. To put selfishness aside. To put love into action.
It’s important to note that the kind of love we are discussing is not a feeling. God never commanded us to “like” our neighbor. In this fallen world, that would be impossible. He calls us to love our neighbor, which is a decision, not a feeling. It’s a decision to look out for what is best for them. That is easy with the people we also happen to like. It is a little more difficult to practice among those who annoy us, who get on our nerves, or who we just plain can’t stand.
But we are called to love them all — to live what Walker Percy called “the scandal of the dignity of every human person.”
Love is strong. It’s powerful. But it isn’t always “nice.” Sometimes, looking out for what is truly best for someone means allowing them to be challenged, experience the consequences of their actions, or be locked up so that they can no longer hurt other images and likenesses of God – through the courts, of course, not vigilante justice.
Love means putting the other’s welfare first, though not in a “doormat” way. We are also created in God's image and likeness, and the commandment says to love our neighbor as ourselves, not instead of ourselves. We don’t tolerate abuse against any image and likeness of God, including our own.
But love means not thinking about ourselves so much. It means getting out of ourselves and our little, enclosed, selfish worlds.
Have you ever been alone, feeling sorry for yourself, and then pulled yourself out of it by reaching out to someone else in need? There is a depth of fulfillment that comes from loving — from making a difference in someone else’s life — that is difficult to replicate anywhere else in human experience.
The final point to keep in mind.
That is what, in the Genesis account, Adam experienced in such a profound way when he first beheld Eve. “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”
But we can also safely assume that he noticed Eve was different from him. Very different.
And that will be our topic next time.
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