By Debbie Cowden/National Catholic Register
It’s supposed to be “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” but it’s also, ironically, a season when parents often lose their peace. Here are some practical ways to feel God’s peace during the Advent and Christmas seasons.
1. Discuss expectations with your spouse and children. Will we see Christmas lights? Which parties and dinners are we attending? How much are we spending on presents (see No. 3)? What will we plan to bake and cook for the big meal? Are we going to Mass on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or both? Having discussions beforehand will eliminate (or reduce) confusion and give you time to plan.
2. Make a schedule. It’s amazing how quickly the calendar fills up, but keeping a schedule will offer a visual account of the busyness. It also allows you to “block out” time for rest and enjoyment at home so no one gets burned out mid-season.
3. Agree on a budget, and stick to it! You know you’re going to buy presents, stocking stuffers, host gifts and decorations, so plan for them! My husband Dave and I have kept a Christmas budget almost every year, and it allows us the freedom to bless our children and enjoy the season without going into debt.
4. Finish your shopping, wrapping and card-writing as early as possible. Dave and I do our Christmas shopping from August to October. We wrap presents and address Christmas cards in November, and by December, we’re free to enjoy activities with our kids. I’m not here to brag, but to remind parents that Christmas falls on Dec. 25 every year, and we have the ability to save ourselves from shipping delays, sold-out items and frantic last-minute purchases (though the Register offers many choices for such necessities, including good finds at EWTNRC.com).
A quick anecdote about the importance of planning ahead: In mid-December 2023, I had just given birth to our fourth child. Our entire family got sick, and our newborn was hospitalized with RSV. Despite uncertainty about her prognosis and exhaustion from being a postpartum mom back in the hospital with a very small, vulnerable newborn, I had no worries about any last-minute shopping or tasks to finish; everything was done, and we could focus on recovering, praying for our baby, and looking forward to brighter days.
And the most important way to find peace this season:
5. Prepare your heart for Jesus’ coming! Of course: He is the reason for the season! Amidst your other preparations, use the four weeks of Advent to turn your heart toward Jesus and anticipate his birthday. Taking care of tasks is important, but only as a means to an end: to free up your mental and physical energy and leave time and attention for Jesus. You can do this in a few ways:
Attend an extra daily Mass each week.
Spend time in Eucharistic adoration, especially with your kids, even if it’s not a full holy “hour.”
Read Christ-centered Christmas stories together.
Dedicate a few evenings to quiet time with the kids; dim the lights, start a fire in the fireplace, get everyone in their cozy jammies, drink hot chocolate, and pray together. There’s something wonderful and novel about creating this type of peaceful environment for our kids, and it allows us to take a step back from the excitement of the season to find Christ in the calm. It’s beautiful!
Remember, this doesn’t have to be a season full of chaos and frustration, but if it already is, read my recommendations for pushing through here.
God bless you, fellow tired parents!
For more practical ways to grow in love of God and get your family to heaven, check out more Advent tips for Catholic families and read The Prayer Book for Tired Parents.
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